Archive for the ‘ Food ’ Category

A Pressing Issue: Coffee

So many Americans drink it, but so few make it properly. There is a Mr. Coffee in just about every home and it makes me shake to the bone.  Where there is evidence of a Mr. Coffee, awful coffee is sure to follow. There are four sins with this brewing technique:

  1. The beans
  2. The water
  3. The grind
  4. The filters

The Beans:

The first sin against coffee starts in the store. Many people buy Folgers and Maxwell House both of which are rancid to the last drop. Both of these ubiquitous brands use the cheapest beans possible and are ground god only knows how long ago. Grinding coffee in a factory sets the sails for Stale Town long before you get the coffee home.

Additionally, people do not treat their beans with respect. They like to be cool, in the dark and away from moisture! The Mr. Coffees of the world think nothing of leaving a bag of coffee exposed to the elements in their pantry. Nasty.

The Water:

The second sin comes with the water. Many people get their water from wells, and wells by nature have many impurities and minerals that can alter the taste of your coffee. It’s like drinking pennies.

Rule of thumb: if you do not want a mineral, taste, or odor in your water: you do not want it in your coffee. Use filtered water! You can use a carbon filter, or buy bottled, it doesn’t matter just STOP USING TAP WATER.

The Grind:

Every brewing technique has a different grind coarseness. Espresso has a very fine grind, and a coffee press (cafetière) has a very coarse grind. Pre-ground coffee falls in the mid-grind range, which allows for faster extraction. This is all fine and dandy, but there isn’t enough time for the coffee to properly steep.  Again, nasty.

This can make the coffee bitter and flavorless. You wouldn’t pour water through a teabag, would you?

The Filter:

Sin four: Paper filters will be the death of a good cup of coffee, even if you followed the aforementioned steps. A paper filter pulls all the oils out of the coffee, and it adds a chemical residue and ‘papery’ taste to it. Those oils are what brings a spark to your cup; they have a rich and nutty flavor, making your cup more dynamic.

If you insist on using a Mr. Coffee, switch to a “gold cone” or another mesh filter.

Now that you know your sins: atone!

Throw out that machine and buy a coffee press. They are cheap, cleaner, and make a great cup of coffee! Next, buy a burr grinder and a scale.  Do not buy a blade grinder! They create an inconsistent grind, which is bad news for good coffee. Lastly, never forget the four sins against coffee and you will be well on your way to a great cup!

Now, I can tell you all the “proper” measurements, but in reality, you need to find what works for your taste.

What they say: 250 ML of water to 8 grams of coffee.

What I do:

270 ML of water to 25 grams of coffee ground at a fairly coarse grind. I keep it on the finer side because I want it stronger and I like the ‘mud’ at the bottom of my cup.

  1. Boil your water
  2. Pour the water over the grinds
  3. Put the top on the cafetière
  4. Let the coffee steep for 3-5 minutes.

Next, aerate with a wooden spoon (not metal), or carefully swirl the cafetière. Then, press!

Lastly, pour and enjoy!

Note the difference: the coffee is more complex, bolder, and has a helluva lot more flavor.


How I Became A Farmer

I never thought it would happen to me. I never wanted it to either. But, one morning out of the blue, I put on my overalls, boots, and Carhartts and took to the fields.

I started small; after all, I was new to this whole thing. First I started planting the basics: wheat, soybeans and corn. As I remembered from my history classes, Native Americans would bury fish with the seeds of the corn. As the fish decomposed, it would act as a fertilizer for the newly germinating seeds. I wished to try this for myself, but I didn’t see it as an available option.

After spending what seemed like hours plowing and planting, my farm was ready to go! Three days later, I had crops! I was amazed. I knew I could do it. I knew I could be a great farmer: and, indeed, I was!

I harvest my crops and took them to market and sold them. I felt like I was in Union Square on a summer Saturday, it was fabulous!

After returning from the market, I went right back to work! Only this time, I had a little extra cash, so I plowed an extra row and planted more crops. This was so exciting, I really felt like I was making a difference.

While I waited for my crops to grow, I took a gander at my neighbors. You know, sizing up my competition. As a gesture of civility, I decided to rake their fallen leaves. I thought it was nice, and so started a “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” relationship with my neighboring farms.

Then, disaster struck! No, not a drought – worse! The Internet froze! Facebook crashed, and all was lost! My farm was gone. My newly found career and passion: destroyed!

I thought, “how could this happen to me?” I have been helping people; I successfully planted and harvested several bushels of crops and now look… my life as a farmer has ended. I was devastated.

It was days before FarmVille was up and running again. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I felt lost, alone and without a purpose. This was simply unacceptable. So, I took to the forum and filed an official complaint!

It wasn’t long after becoming a farmer that I too started to moonlight as a vampire. At first, I thought it was going to conflict with my busy farming schedule, but it all worked out well.

All is well on the farm, that has since been converted to a vineyard and we hope to double our profit by the end of the month!

Thank you FarmVille for changing my life.

Drugs Not Hugs!

Psychotropic drug therapy is the first line of defense for many doctors. Feeling blue? Have a Prozac! Can’t sleep? Have an Ambien! It goes on and on. It’s cheaper than therapy, it works faster than ‘healing from your emotional wounds,’ and above all, it lasts longer than crack!

So, in that light, I rewrote the Lord’s Prayer to more appropriately fit our ideals and our views on what is holy and the true path to happiness.

Our Pfizer who giveth thee heaven, Prozac be thy name.

Thine pharmacy I come.

Crying will be done

On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day our daily pill

and forget our troubles

as we forget those whom trouble us

and lead us not into depression

but deliver us from bad chinese food

For thine is my savior

and the power of 100mgs

for ever and ever


I hope that made y’all smile.


Beef, what a gas!

cowsWith the threat of global warming staring us in the face, we try to find something to point the finger at. First, it was the big trucks, that as children we would pump our arms at hoping they would honk for us. Those were the days, when driving in a convertible on the highway, big rig trucks would emit a cloud of black smoke to billow in your face. Second, we blamed the landfills for secreting too much methane; with that a billion dollar industry of regulators and environmental enforcement agencies were born. Currently, we blame the very cars that we drove to the landfill while enjoying our gas-scented evocative childhood pleasures. Finally, a select few, but prominent, people are pointing the finger to the meat and dairy industry.

Cows and other ruminants are the top two or three leading contributors of greenhouse gasses, a study put out by the United Nations Food and Agricultural Organization stated. Cows do not produce the same volatile organic compounds (VOCs) as SUVs, such as, CO2; however, they produce gasses that have at least 21 times the warming potential—methane and nitrous oxide. When a cow eats, the food is ingested through the mouth and lead to the largest of its four stomachs, where bacteria are introduced and the food starts to break down. Then the food returns to the mouth as cud, where the cow chews it further. Here in lies the problem, when the cow is chewing the food, it is belching and releasing methane into the air. It is estimated that a single cow can belch out anywhere from 25-130 gallons of methane daily. To try and combat the cud problem, scientists in Australia, Britain and New Zealand are attempting to create a bovine Alka-Selzter, in tandem with creating new strands of grass that are more energy efficient hence creating less methane during digestion. The problem of digestion does not stop there, once the food digest the cow defecates leaving behind a completely new producer of methane and nitrous oxide. Nitrous oxide has 296 times the warming potential that carbon dioxide has, to combat the creation of this VOC the gasses from manure storage containers are lit, converting the NO2 into the less harmful CO2. Now, multiply that by the 1.5 billion cattle in the world’s meat and dairy system and you have a problem bigger than any SUV on the market could produce.

Since 1967 the auto industry has made significant changes to car engines and exhaust systems. Driving down any highway in America 1967 and before and it would be gilded with black smoke, the smell of gasoline would permeate through anything within 500 feet of a gas station because of not having protective rubber stops to contain the fumes being emitted while pumping gas. In 2002, a regular combustion engine car would emit 1.4 pounds of CO2 each year, that is a momentous difference from the 14.6 pounds being emitted in 1967. In an attempt to fight against vehicular VOCs, Toyota invented the gas-electric hybrid. Hybrid cars first became available to the public in the late 1990s, this was a huge strive for cleaner air and better fuel efficiency. Many people bought hybrid cars, but their popularity never grew to epic proportions because humans are creatures of speed and hybrid cars could not deliver. In 2008, the hydrogen car will be on limited release in Los Angeles. This car run strictly on hydrogen and electricity and has no VOC emissions, just pure water. This is a magnificent improvement and it will drastically reduce the amount of CO2 emissions, but it will not be enough until regulations are made for other aspects of life.

The ubiquity of beef in American culture is equally as prevalent as baseball or apple pie. Americans eat, according to the 2000 census, nearly 100 pounds of beef each year. Americans are also among the leaders in obesity, heart disease and colorectal cancer, all of which are linked to excessive red-meat intake. Therefore, with the obvious health implications and the risk of melting the polar ice caps, Americans still support the meat and dairy industry. This is because the implications of peoples’ actions are kept out of mainstream politics because the agricultural industry has too much money they can hold over the government’s head. In the late 1970s, Sen. George McGovern suggested that American’s cut down on fatty meats and dairy intake for health reasons. The American meat and dairy industry took this as a personal assault on their business, so they took action and voted McGovern out of office a few years later. In September of 2007, former senator John Edwards suggested that Americans trade in their SUVs to benefit the environment, also stating that cows generate more greenhouse gasses than SUVs. When TV talk-show host Bill Maher asked, “you want to take a shot at meat?” Edwards dodged the question as not to damage his chances of becoming president.

Humans are the only species that drink milk beyond infancy. As babies, we drink milk for nourishment and to help us grow. Cows milk is very high in saturated fat and protein, within a year a cow will become four times its birth size thanks to the milk of its mother. Americans drink excessive amounts of milk and then wonder why as a nation they are so morbidly obese compared to the rest of the world. The bad news of drinking milk does not stop there, all the chemicals and growth hormones that are put into the cows feed gets filtered through their bodies and eventually ends up in their milk supply and then to the consumers. We feed our children milk, which is like feeding them liquid steroids; girls are developing breast sooner and that are much larger than previously recorded, boys are much taller, developing facial hair earlier and their voices are deeper. Not only do the hormones, chemicals, and antibiotics get into the milk—it gets into the meat also. Therefore, humans are eating twice the amount of growth hormones than if they were to eat meat alone. Ingesting these antibiotics causes our immune systems to become weaker and begin to attack themselves, thus causing allergies, such as, the ever-present peanut allergy that is plaguing today’s youth in record numbers. The consumption of beef will cause massive damages to the environment and the world’s population by 2050, as the demand for meat and dairy increases exponentially.

This problem stares us in the face every time we open the fridge or sit down to dinner, cows and their byproducts are omnipresent in society today. Unless politicians and reputable environmental agencies start to speak on this issue more frequently, the problem will persist indefinitely. One way to combat the issue indirectly would be to take McGovern’s stance and link red meat and dairy products to a well-known health risk. This will help cut down the demand for meats and dairy, assuming there is not a counter campaign by government agencies or politicians in an effort to boost their own reputation. In such an event, it would not be in the best interest of the environment to stop pushing the issue. More legislation has to be made for cows, other ruminants, and their manures, regulating their emissions. Global warming will still endure, even with the advent of new fuel-efficient and low emissions cars, the reduction in the supply of meat and dairy will greatly reduce the risk of global warming for the time being.

Passion Fruit Martini

Passion_Fruit_VodkatiniCloseCome with me and explore Pazza Notte. It is located just south of Central Park on 6th avenue and 56th street, you cannot miss it, just look for the “Happy Hour 2 for 1 ALL NIGHT” special sign. In the spirit of their happy hour, I ordered a passion fruit martini. I figured why not? I love passion fruit, I enjoy vodka, and it was strongly recommended by a friend.

The initial sip had a small bite to it, but nothing out of the ordinary for a vodka-based drink. The second sip was a rush of fruity, yet spicy, goodness! It had a really mellow feel and could easily be mistaken for candy. This is one drink you need to remind yourself that it is alcoholic or else you’ll wake up tomorrow with a “what did I do?” feeling.

I have yet to try the food, but I would highly recommend going and enjoying the open-air café ambiance while sipping (N.B. I said sipping!) on this fantastic cocktail. I will certainly be returning for another round. Maybe I’ll see you there!



Chill martini glass

In a shaker:

  • 1 shot citrus vodka (orange or mango)
  • 1 shot white cranberry juice
  • ½ shot Cointreau
  • Add ice and shake

Optional: garnish with passion fruit

Strain into martini glass and enjoy!